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Old 21-05-2009, 08:29 PM   #1
fazer

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Council Complaints

These are genuine complaints to a council office, which will
remain nameless:

* My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.

* He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
take it anymore.

* It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

* I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

* I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

* And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
fence.

* I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

* My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

* I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

& nbsp; * Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

* I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

* 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
plain filthy.

* I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

* The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.

* Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink.

* Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

* I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

* The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.

* Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
so please send someone round to do something about it.

* I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please
do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

* Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife.

* I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction.

* This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't
get BBC2.
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Old 22-05-2009, 01:42 PM   #2
Angelfromabove

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Re: Council Complaints

Hahaha! Some of them are fantastic! The type of wording fails i can see my foster mum making actually!
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Old 22-05-2009, 04:52 PM   #3
Dead Alive

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Re: Council Complaints

Not the typing fails you would make?

Some of them are totally lolsome.
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