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View Full Version : Girlfriends...and their suppositions and implications....


Boff
22-10-2004, 07:24 AM
After chatting to a GO member on ICQ [the name was deleted for his own protection], I cave upon the idea that sometimes, my girlfriend, will accuse me of something.

It's totally unfounded, unjustified, it's like she just crept into my head, thought the most possibly hurtfull thoughts and actions that I could do upon here, and then assume that is precisely my mindset.
And then get upset.

Now, a mistake, I can explain, or argue out of, or at the very least, just feel dumb and let it go.

A dumb accedentil white lie, that gets out of proportion, I can wriggle out of and smooth out the problem.

But this imagination situations of you wanting to punish your girlfriend in some evil way........how....why.....and worst yet, because you have *NO* idea for the first few minutes, you act normal.......which riles up the girlfriend even more, because you are not "attending" to her wounded feelings, (or heaven forbid...you haven't noticed yet......which is unfair because they are hiding it anyway, and the thing you have done wrong is made up in their heads).
And when you start asking questions, and sorting things out, you go from one battle trench to another, everything you say is just foot in mouth, and makes the situation worse.
Every explanation, despite being the truth, sounds like a very bad lie, as if you ARE covering something up.

I realise this 'happens' among couples, but how common and does anyone have any 'funny' examples.

Nathan
22-10-2004, 07:34 AM
Iv read thru that 3 times now, and im still not sure quite what ur on about. Will abstain until I see some more replies. :confused:

Betty_Swallocks
22-10-2004, 07:40 AM
Are you after advice, or are you just sharing?

It happens. The normal way it goes is.....What's wrong love?.... Nothing.... Oh, OK......No, there is something wrong, what is it.....NOTHING!!!....Oh, bloody hell. What have I done now? .......If you loved me you'd know what was wrong!!!!!!...... And so on.

And all the married men on the forum are now nodding their heads and thinking "He's right. It's just like that"

Nathan
22-10-2004, 07:59 AM
Maybe its different for married men, but I live with my gf and its nothing like that. Its gonna be at least slightly different in every situation id wager.

Sticky Vickie
22-10-2004, 09:00 AM
See thing is, men do that too.
You all seem to portray this *butch* image of yourselves,
and granted, SOME men are straight forward and open.
But Jeezus Christ, i've come across some pieces of work!

Mind games do not wash with me, i created them. Although
I do admit to the "theres nothiing wrong" line. But i honestly
only say that to avoid arguments.

Now I can see what Boff is getting at, but obviously he hasnt
explained it very well :p He doesnt really wanna assassinate
his missus, i think that extremity was just an example of her
vast train of thought.

I'll tell you what im a bitch for, and i definately know its a woman
thing...
At night when you get into bed.. turn the lights out, close your eyes
.. your feeling very sleepy.. driftin off into the land of nod.... and then

"We need to talk..."

hehe
owns :D

Vick
x

Boff
22-10-2004, 09:38 AM
I only started this, because I was chattin to Mr. X about it, and we were laughing and nodding heads.

I have never read these books on the differences on men and women, but I once flicked through Men are from Mars and women are from venus.

They say that women in a social environment with other women, when quiet, are thinking of 'bad' things. The constant Jabbering, is infact a way of saying, you're okay with me.

Guys it's the total opposite, if something is wrong, good, okay, we are quiet.
we think about games, sport, tv, and just crap really.

But from my understanding of all of that, when we do concentrate on thinking of 'crap', the gf/wife starts assuming we are attempting to break up with them or we are thinking how ugly we believe they are, etc..etc..

Granted this is a stupid generalisation.

but I've seen quite a few women who get "triggered", by moments of quietness, or being left alone, when boyfriend / husband just chills out in front of the tv, with friends, is sleeping, or wrapped up in a hobby or interest.

and I think it's is quite ammusing in many ways too,
because when it's an actual problem, if I screwed up, and i've seen I screwed up, I can fix it.
but the comedy aspect is;
if their is this implication thing, or they (this goes for Big sister and my mum as well) believe you are "up to something",
then everything I say and do, just sound supicious, and dodgy.

For example, the other day, I had locked the door when she went out, now "why" had I locked the door, what secrets was I trying to keep from her.


Just wondering if the lads here have anything they 'dare' to add ;) and amussing situations.

Boff
22-10-2004, 09:51 AM
Ah Vicks, you don't know the half of it.
Milla, cute and lovely almost all of the time.
But by jove, she has an evil sense of humour.

We are having her friends round for Tea and *******s (coffe and buns...FIKA!!!)
and whilst sat at the table, people chatting in swedish, so I drift into my own thoughts, checking out the place, and looking at our mutual friends to see how they are paying attention.

Camilla barks at me "Quite checking out Lady-x"
to which I jump in my seat a bit, I was being all stary at people, but was I starring specifically at this gir?? (who Camilla was a little worried this girl would steal me, because she is known as the beautiful one in Camilla's social group),

So I start blubbering like hugh grant trying to explain my way out of a situation I didn't know I was in, but was I in, I mean, what just happened.....Granted I had checked her out a bit too see what the fuss was about in the first couple of seconds I met her,
but you do that with all people, male or female, you asses peoples looks and characters the second you meet them. So the guilt starts building up,
was that wrong of me to 'check her out' as such. blah blah blah...


A few agonising minutes later, of me trying to apologise, and explain I wasn't paying attention to the conversation, and was day-dreaming in thought, now add guilt, and trying to explain, why I wasn't paying attention to the conversation, she cut in with "Just kidding hun".

Boff
22-10-2004, 09:52 AM
and that's when she is being light hearted........

Cable
22-10-2004, 10:17 AM
There has been loads of situations where I look at ladies in front of the missus, and after we established that I wasnt actually doing anything wrong its fine now. I even point girls out to her and say "cor she's a a bit of a fitty" and she gives me a playful slap or two. Obviously the same thing works the other way and she can look at blokes all she wants, it doesnt bother me.

Last time summat was miscommunicated (or she lied about ;)) was going out for my birthday a couple of years ago and she said "I dont mind if you want to go out with your mates, its your birthday afterall.". So of course I went out with some of the lads, got blinding drunk and made my way home. Next morning it was cold shoulder central so I was like "Wtf?". She explained that it would have been nice to spend the evening in with me on my birthday. I explained that it was never gonna happen and if she wanted me to stay with her she should have asked. I also explained that I would have said no regardless, but thats an issue that has never come up again.

Id rather get things out in the open, sorted, done and dusted and not have to go back to them and Sue knows now that I dont pick up on hints and other subtle things that most girls do when they want summat or arent happy. In a lot of cases I chose not to but I do despise that attitude that most women have about hinting at things and plain lying about how they feel. The day that becomes the norm in my relationship is the day the ejector handle gets pulled.

In the words of Pete Mitchell "Watch the canopy!".

;)

^SwITcH^
22-10-2004, 10:51 AM
Yeah - can deffo releate to that sort of thing occuring ... I too am not overly receptive to subtle hints and suchlike - so all too often my missus will get pissed with me for not realising or understanding why she's upset or whatever.

However this is occuring less now as I thing she does actually realist that I don't precieve things like this at all ... so she has to be direct or not expect any repsonse from me.

Heh - it's just one of those things ....

Raspy
22-10-2004, 12:13 PM
Women are weird - thankfully my wife is fairly mentally stable for a woman. The only thing she generally accuses me of is doing things in order to get some sex - and in fairness, she's usually right.

Boff
22-10-2004, 12:21 PM
ahh Lady being upset but showing 'subtle signs' yup annoying but not really what i'm getting at.

More like Vicky said
"Hi, despite this, not being your responsbility, I've decided that it is, and I shall now rip seven shades of crap out of you for it, because I just decided to make up a reason to do so......I've admitedly created a ficticious situation in which I can be angry to buggery, because I decided to misread or read what I like into what you have said or done, even if you haven't even said or done anything, (which obviously mean your a lazy)"

Just nutty stuff, where you just sit there and think WTF, where did this come from?

Like my old Boss,
She nagged the f'ck to get something do, and in MID getting it done, naggs to buggery to get something else done THAT minute because it's SUPER urgent,
so I swap tasks, just as i finish of the URGENT one, or mid way through completing the this Urgent one, she asks about task number 1, and then have my arse REEEEMMED, if she couldn have used my arse as a basket ball she would have bounced me up and down the car park because I hadn't got "that" done yet.

Just, wtf, how unfair, where do you get of justifying that chain of reasoning???

I wouldn't mind, but she we do it regularly, like, as if she lost at tiddlwinks, or her cat didn't let her stroke him that morning, so lets just be f'cking evil to my co-worker today.

Cable
22-10-2004, 12:30 PM
Personally, the second occurence of any of that sort of behaviour would be the end of the relationship. First time it happens you explain that its not to happen again or its goodbye. Iv had that chat with a few ex-girlfriends thus the reason they're ex's.

Boff
22-10-2004, 02:11 PM
Nice, can't argue,
but then again my old boss, on certain days, well, Hit it Cartmen. (#kyles mum is....)

I have the rule of If you don't respect me, I'm walking.

The point when Milla starts wanting to take the world apart, I generally just stare at her and tell her "so such and such a thing is bothering you then".
I have a high percentage of being right too. I just have an 'weird' instinct, to know what she's thinking and why, She complains i know her better than herself, it's such a shame I'm not an evil genius, ah the things I could do to that poor girls mind. MUWUHAHAHAH.
Usefull tacting, talk calmly and quietly...it forces them to do the same.
LOL she has Complained alot that we don't have fierce arguements.
that I was being too calm and nice, and that I don't shout at her.
I can get out of "proper" mean situations

but.....my skills are useless when it comes to the "made up scenarios"

But when she walks back in to the flat and I randomly had to door locked, (unusual it nsweden, very low-crime here)
"so been masterbating whilst watching porn whilst I've been away",
kidding or no kidding, Everything I said, just made me look even more stupid.
Here is an exageration of the story.
"I'm english...wee..err.. have....lots of weirdos...and usually....I like to lock the door..."
"but you are in Sweden here?"
"Yeah but there are weirdos here?"
"So why is I have to remind you to lock the door at night"
"....good point....because.....err....i'm tired last thing....and I forget'n'stuff...."
"but you remember when I leave you alone in the flat all by yourself"
"yes...I just felt like it"
"ahha, so why are your flies undone"
"I just was on the toilet when the doorbell rang"
"So what were you doing in the toilet all by yourself with the front door locked."
"the usual toilet stuff!!"
"What like masterbating"
"NO!!!"

I can't remember how the actualy conversation went, aside from down hill, no arguement, just a comedic lets see how deep a hole Paul can dig, and how fast!!

Cable
22-10-2004, 03:06 PM
I think the point is being missed; there is nothing wrong with masterbating!

;)

Betty_Swallocks
22-10-2004, 03:15 PM
Some girls feel threatened by the fact that sometimes blokes like to do it.
My first wife was like that.

TSS
22-10-2004, 04:37 PM
Yeah, but when it's everyday like boff, she's got a point ;)

but seriously, it does sound like she's got an issue, why does she feel threatened by u cracking one off? You'll have to explain that it doesn't mean anything, and how could you find an animal more attractive, you just do it for the rush...erm....ahem...

Raspy
22-10-2004, 05:23 PM
Some girls feel threatened by the fact that sometimes blokes like to do it.
My first wife was like that.

Personally I think my wife is more often than not relieved.......

Colio
22-10-2004, 05:24 PM
Thanks Boff for at least not mentioning me. That was considerate. However, I though our convo was quite funny.

At least you realise that your partners are not monsters from hell. But women are all monsters from hell at some time or another.

My experience was very recent. I still laugh now, but at the time understandably it was a little upsetting for her.

We're in bed, knackered and off to sleep I go.
Im dreaming....Im in a rollercoaster cart, going through a spiderman ladened area, which I know (somehow) leads ot a tunnel through to Disneys magic kingdom (yay). Anyhow there are guards around to keep the calm. Next minute my g/f is in the cart with me, attempting carnal passions. Because Im quite frightened of the noises she's making, because if we're not careful we're gonna get thrown out of the cart by the guards. Quite calmly but firmly I tell her to calm down and shut up. She does.
Next minute I hear our bedroom window slam shut. Hmmm, I think, turn to my g/f and she doesnt seem best pleased. Appears it wasnt quite a dream...hmmm, anyhow I later find out that in my sleep it was ME who started the carnal activities. And then it was me who told her to shut up. Blatantly upset by this, she felt out with me for a while. LOL

The strangest bit of it, was that night Id been out with two people from work, one female one male. It was not directly , but implied that Id slept about that evening and was obviously too tired for any more. Needless to say it was a unfounded comment, but like boff said, because its unfounded how can you defend against it?

Anyway, for the record, I hadnt slept about, the g/f is fine and we both laugh about it now.

Colio
22-10-2004, 05:28 PM
Personally I think my wife is more often than not relieved.......

I thought your the one whose relieved?

Boff
25-10-2004, 07:24 AM
It wasn't like she was worried about me cracking one off,
(and I far far from it, and in most cases is encourages it, with bo-feathers and small dance routine ;) only kidding hun!)

She originally said it light heartidely, she has an evil sense of humour, hense the Quit checking out my mate, that was something I wasn't doing at the time she had said it, as we where having coffee, she just said it to snap my attention back, because I was stareing boredly into thin air.

She just jumped on a typical "boyfriend" thing to do, even though I wasn't doing it, and then....just watches me squirm.

It doesn't matter what I say, it just makes me look even more guilty.

^SwITcH^
25-10-2004, 10:06 AM
It doesn't matter what I say, it just makes me look even more guilty.

That's just men in general mate ... we can't help but look guilty - especially through girlfriend tinted glasses :D

TSS
25-10-2004, 01:15 PM
yeah, but when she catches you on the bed with your pet dog, you're always gonna have a guilty look on your face.

Comments like "I'm just checking for fleas" or that u "was having a rough and tumble" with him just don't wash with them....they don't understand, no one does...why do i feel so alone...

^SwITcH^
25-10-2004, 01:39 PM
Moving swiftly on ....

Boff
25-10-2004, 02:52 PM
TSS, I would only feel 'really' guilty depending on whethers it's a poodle I have that sheep pr0n on in the background.
(that advert still freaked me out)

If it's the familly dog of my girlfriends,
then my girlfriend caught me in mid act with the dog squealing in discomfort,
I think she would freak to the point where she would have to be put into a mental institute i believe to recover.
She loves that dog *soo* much...........as did I ;)

TSS
25-10-2004, 03:56 PM
If it's the familly dog of my girlfriends,
then my girlfriend caught me in mid act with the dog squealing in discomfort,
I think she would freak to the point where she would have to be put into a mental institute i believe to recover.
She loves that dog *soo* much...........as did I ;)

Come on man, it'd be the joke of the decade :D Imagine the look on her face. A bit of time in a mental institute never hurt anyone...didn't affect me!

Raspy
25-10-2004, 04:09 PM
hense the Quit checking out my mate, that was something I wasn't doing at the time she had said it, as we where having coffee, she just said it to snap my attention back, because I was stareing boredly into thin air.

She just jumped on a typical "boyfriend" thing to do, even though I wasn't doing it, and then....just watches me squirm.

It doesn't matter what I say, it just makes me look even more guilty.

Boff, by far the best answer to that is "Why? She's got (a) nice (arse/t1ts/whatever)". If she's gonna try and make you feel guilty for no reason, make her jealous back as she'll start worrying that you've actually noticed her mate. I don't say things like that to my missus on a regular basis as she never pressures me over things like that, but I would if the opportunity arose.

The one exception to that was in a game of truth or dare with my wife, and about 3 of her friends (at least one of which is very attractive). She asked me if I fancied any of her friends, so rather than take the dare, I told the truth. I'm quite lucky tho as she realises that the fact I fancy someone doesn't mean I'm gonna run off. Likewise, if she points out a good looking bloke, I don't get all defensive about it, and in fact, she often points out girls with nice arses before I do.

The best bit though was another question asked TO my wife (by someone else) was which one of her friends she'd choose to have a threesome with. And she chose the same friend - hey, could be in there :D